Three Articles of Humour

(1)	The most cliché saying : Not burning incense normally, clasping the Buddha’s feet  when emergency arises (to profess devotion when in trouble)
An extremely frightened worshipper reported, “Rinpoche, I’m suffering from terminal cancer. The doctor told me that I’ve only two months left to live.” Rinpoche asked, “Well?! Why do you get cancer? Oh! Which kind of cancer is it?” The disciple was down in the dumps and answered(being depressed/in low spirits), “The doctor said that get lung cancer which has already been close to the fourth stage. He added that I’ve smoked too many cigarettes.” Rinpoche said, “Well?! When you buy the cigarettes, you don’t notice that there’re clear indications of ‘Smoking is hazardous to health’ and ‘Smoking can cause cancer ‘on their packages, do you? Oh! You may have been far too busy.” The other party(the disciple) lost for words temporarily, he had nothing to say.
Then the disciple kept on saying, “Rinpoche, can you aid me to recover (from the cancer)?” Rinpoche said, “Well?! I’d like to ask you one thing, er… er… I’d like to spend some of your money, …er for doing something. Oh! You’re sure to have the blessings.” Thoughts surging in the disciple’s mind immediately. His innermost being was full of doubt and so he could only reply, “Er …”
Rinpoche continued to say, “Well?! How much money are you still holding now? Oh! It’s also alright if it’s inconvenient to say so.” The disciple hesitated for a moment and then answered obsessively, “Er… still have one million dollars. Rinpoche, please be at ease! I’ll certainly make an offering for you. I just hope that you can give me the greatest blessings.” His voice was filled with melancholy, helplessness and unwillingness. Rinpoche comforted him with soft words, “Well?! Please don’t be mistaken. You‘ve a million dollars to spare but it’s a pity that you only have two months’ lifetime. For the time being, the amount of money you’re holding is really too much for you! Is that right? Oh! Actually, I’d like you to do a little thing which will only cost you about a hundred dollars.”
Hearing that Rinpoche solely asked for one hundred dollars, the cancer-suffering disciple breathed a sigh of relief at once. There was even a fleeting glimpse of joyful expression on his face. He then went on asking, “Rinpoche, what’s the purpose of one hundred dollars?” Rinpoche said flatly, “Well?! It seems that you’ve not yet awakened at this very moment. Oh! You should go to buy a book called 《Journey to the West》 (remark: one of the four classic novels of Chinese Literature) and take a look at it while you still have a little time left. I think you can finish reading it in a few days. Although 《Journey to the West》 is merely an imaginary mythical fiction, some of the content and details inside are filled with meaningful prospects that you can learn something from them. Try to survey and look into the meaning of ‘Not burning incense normally, clasping the Buddha’s feet when emergency arises’ to find out what the possible consequences will be after all?!”

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＞＞	Bliss’ in Daily Life and ‘Achievement’ in Buddhist Cultivation

〔Conclusion： Having cultivated for many years, say ten years, twenty years or thirty years until confronting the moment before death, one is shocked to find that one has doubt in the cultivation of The Guru Yoga. There are also problems in the practices of both The Yidam Sadhana and The Four Initiation Practice … . Now, one is facing the serious matter of life and death, ‘one becomes so scared that makes one suffer from insomnia’ … … .〕
(2)	I want to be a multimillionaire
At a particular time in a certain Buddhist centre that was about half an hour after the Dharma assembly hosted by Rinpoche, one of the worshippers from the crowd walked hurriedly towards (Rinpoche’s) attendant and said to him(attendant), “I’d like to inquire for seeing Rinpoche. I hope I can talk to Rinpoche face-to-face today. Would you please pass on the message for me?” Taking a look at the fellow Dharma-brother standing in front of him who was seldom met, the attendant then answered him in a concerning intonation, “Well?! It’s been a long time since we last saw each other, Dharma-brother! You want to have a meeting with Rinpoche today. Basically, it’s not a problem. But as you can see, there’re still plenty of worshippers waiting to arrange for an interview with Rinpoche here. Moreover, Rinpoche has just finished hosting the Dharma assembly; Rinpoche is, in fact, extremely tired. If possible, it’s better for you to tell me your problem first. If the matter is simple enough, perhaps I can also help you solve it; but if the problem is complicated, I’ll certainly report to Rinpoche and arrange a time for you to meet  Rinpoche personally.  In this case, you won’t waste your precious time waiting until the cows come home. At the same time, Rinpoche can be able to have a rest earlier.”
Without a second thought, the worshipper told the attendant, “Frankly speaking, I want to beg for Rinpoche’s blessings to make me a multimillionaire.” Having listened to the worshipper’s request, the attendant smiled joyfully and said, “Oh! It’s something really simple, even I can tell you the most effective and the fastest way to do so as well. As long as you had given an offering of ten million and one dollars to Rinpoche, Rinpoche would have blessed you to have ten million dollars on the next day. Then you’ll become a multimillionaire.”
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＞＞	Three Types of Wishes
〔Postscript： As for those having infinite riches who only focus on the pleasure and comfort of themselves, but lack the realization of the importance of doing charitable works to benefit sentient beings, what will they have in the end even if they are billionaires? In fact, by the time when one is fulfilling one’s desires, one will involuntarily make evil causes and reap what one has sown with evil consequence. One is thus going to bear the sufferings from the evil conduct which eventually is, more a loss than gain. Besides, your meritorious rewards will surely be used up one day, irrespect the amount you have accumulated. As a conclusion, none of these possessions can lead to a liberation at the end. … Destined disciples encounter their enlightened Guru, please do not only ask for meritorious rewards for one’s own benefits. One should grasp this precious chance to implore sincerely to the Guru for the teaching of Supreme Tantric Dharma so as to attain the Bodhicitta (Bodhi Mind). 〕
(3)	Requesting for the blessings to pass the examination
A worshipper, who has attended the group cultivation in our centre for three years, came to the centre to participate in the Dharma assembly today. At the sight of Rinpoche, he could not wait hastening forward to seek for Rinpoche’s blessings. The worshipper said, “Rinpoche, can you aid my son to pass his school examination tomorrow?” Rinpoche answered, “Oh! No problem. Well?! Ask him to come here so that I can give him blessings immediately.”
The worshipper said, “I’m afraid he’s not at the centre now.” Rinpoche said, “Oh! He’s not here. Well?! Where has he been? He doesn’t come with you to take part in the Dharma assembly, does he?” The worshipper replied, “No, he doesn’t! He went to play soccer early in the morning and said that he would go swimming after that.”
Rinpoche said, “Oh! What would you like me to do with your son now? Do you want me to give him aid to pass the examination or fail in it? If you want me to bless him pass the examination, there’ll be a very low possibility to fulfill your wish. As far as I know, the academic results of your son are always poor. In addition, he’s lazy in nature as well as uneager to learn. You asked me to bless your son pass the examination just now. What if he fails? In that case, how can I be exposed to the others anymore? It’s because … Haha! Not spiritual efficacious ! Well?! I can imagine that if I blessed him to fail, the level of spiritual efficacy (of my blessings) would be much higher.”
The worshipper-disciple was taken aback and became speechless after hearing what Rinpoche had said.
Note: the above three incidents are all real stories!
Reference Information:
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＞＞	One and only one wish
〔Postscript： They think that the Guru can understand their needs, they then ask for the Guru’s blessings to achieve their wishes of the heart. However, the wishes made are merely desires that sentient beings hope to beg for themselves, all of them have nothing to do with the wisdom life of Buddhism. In addition, when encountering with awkward situations, many disciples refuse to envisage the crux of the problems to find possible solutions themselves. Instead, they think that once the Guru has got known of their situations, their problems will be handled by the Guru and all of them will readily be solved. Everything goes smoothly and it is always successful in this way. As a result, sentient beings depend upon the Guru’s blessings as well as aid on every matter regardless of their importance, they allow themselves to make the Guru fulfills their countless wishes. When we seek refuge from our Guru, do we aim at learning Supreme Tantric Dharma from him or viewing him as an omnipotent machine that can achieve wishes?〕